Zachary's birth story

As a full-term pregnant student in midwifery school, I started thinking as Zachary's due date drew closer about the mind/body connection during labor and birth. I thought about how, in Ina May Gaskins Guide to Childbirth, she teaches about how fears can really hinder a mother from going into labor or if a mother is in labor fears have the potential to slow down or even stop the labor. So, I reflected. I went a good 8 days overdue with both Kyla and Avery, and even though being overdue can be perfectly normal, if there was anything I could do to change that possibility this time, I wanted to know because I was getting very uncomfortable! Two nights before Zachary was to be born, Pete and I were sitting on the couch and talking about what it was going to be like to have another baby. I told him that I realized deep down I was scared to have another baby. Not scared to give birth, but scared to have a newborn in the house again. For those of you that do not know, Avery was a very high-needs baby and also colicky. Pete and I really feel that part of the reason Avery was given to us was to keep us humble! From the moment she was born she cried. Little could soothe Avery from day one. Nursing, being held, rocking, bouncing...not much could keep Avery from crying and she slept very very little. The first time Avery gave us more than a 3 hour stretch of sleep was when she was 1 year old. When she was 8 months, we discovered her multiple food allergies. When she was 2 years old we discovered even more food allergies. Between the ages of 1 and 3 Avery had severe eczema that would make her cry and scratch and bleed and interrupt her sleep even more. If you've read this blog, you've read our stories. And now, we were getting ready to enter into an unknown...what would Zachary be like?

Pete reassured me that night as I told him my fears. "Sarah," he said, "remember the meaning of Zachary's name: 'the Lord has remembered'. God knows what we went through with Avery. Zachary will be different than Avery." I was immediately at peace with having another baby and for the first time really looking forward to meeting this little guy and getting to know him.

On Friday, June 11th, my mom came up to take me out to lunch and go shopping for clothes for the girls. It was just the two of us...which was kind of a rare thing, being able to hang out with just my mom. We had so much fun and I really treasured our time together. We had lunch at Panera Bread and then went to Target where I walked up and down those aisles for 2.5 hours. I was so distracted by all the pretty clothes my mom was picking out to buy for the girls. The more I walked, the "stronger" my Braxton-hicks contractions became. But I decided in my head that I would not pay any attention to them, I was remembering what I taught in my classes: it's best to ignore labor until you can't ignore it anymore.

Later that afternoon when we came home I went to the bathroom to find myself loosing my mucus plug (wish we could find a better name for that) :-) It was nice to know that I was probably making some progress, so I gave my midwife a heads-up that something just might be happening. Later that night around 10:30pm or so, my contractions became much stronger, though nothing that I couldn't talk through and there was no pattern to them . I went to bed, but couldn't sleep because of the contractions so I drank a half glass of wine hoping it would make them go away so I could sleep. It didn't. After about 2 hours of increasingly harder contractions that were very irregular I had 2 contractions with the urge to push. I woke Pete up, and Pete called Brynne, one of our midwives. She came over at 1am and found me to be 8cm dilated! I was shocked because I really wasn't even in active labor at this point.

After taking some homeopathic remedies to hopefully pick up the tempo of labor, my contractions definitely became more strong and closer together and I started to really wish we had somehow filled the birth tub up with water, even though earlier on I had told Pete to not worry about it. Now, this is where some of the story becomes a blur. I remember it being dark and quiet. I remember it being so peaceful around me as I labored (even though I was not acting very peaceful!!). I remember kind words of encouragement spoken to me from Pete, Brynne and Deren. There was a respect for birth and the way it happens naturally without interference...that respect permeated the room as I labored in those wee hours of morning.

As labor became more intense, I realized that the contractions were feeling very different than my previous births, I was feeling an intense pain in the front of my abdomen that didn't let up in between contractions. I found out I had a cervical lip. The pain really surprised me...I didn't expect to feel pain like that in between contractions and it felt nothing like a contraction. Contractions were like waves that I could "ride"...but this felt more like a sharp shooting pain that was really difficult to breathe through or find a position that alleviated what I felt. After maybe an hour or so trying to "deal" with this, I realized the only way out of this situation was to have the baby! Brynne told me she could move the rest of cervix out of the way, and we tried once but it was too painful. Then a couple contractions or so later I told Brynne to do what she needed to do so I could push this baby out! She pushed back the rest of the cervix and I finally had the urge to push.

For some reason, pushing caught me by surprise...I felt like it didn't matter what I had read about pushing or the fact that I had pushed 2 babies out already, the intensity of it all overtook me and "pushed" me to the point of complete surrender. I really wasn't "doing" anything, my body was doing the pushing and I knew that I had to get out of the way. I lost all control. (And that's what birth is about isn't it...surrendering and loosing control and just letting it happen). After pushing on my hands and knees some and then flipping over to my side, Zach made his way into the world! I remember after his head came out how BIG his shoulders felt. Brynne said it was because of the way he was holding his shoulders. After his shoulders came out, the rest of him came and Brynne put him on my belly. He was so cute...he was ours :-) Avery had a short cord when she was born, so when I tried to lift her up to see her face, it hurt. So, even though both midwives told me that his cord was long and I could hold him, for some reason I wouldn't reach down and pick him up. That was kind of a funny moment.. I don't know why I wouldn't pick him up...but after his cord was cut, then I picked him up and held him :-) He was so sweet and didn't cry at all. He just looked all around and went right to nursing. He was 8lbs 7oz and 21.5 inches long. Our biggest and longest baby ever. He was born at 6:04am after a 5 hour labor. The girls woke up in their room while I was pushing. Pete told them to stay put and that mommy was having the baby! They were so good and stayed in their room until right after he was born. The girls woke up to their new baby brother!

I cannot be more thankful for our wonderful midwives and for Pete's support. Everyone was so incredible. The girls are in love with their little brother and we are in love with our new son! So far, he's the easiest baby we've had, he rarely cries and sleeps well for us at night. He was born on June 12th, the same day 4 years ago that Pete's mom passed away. He has really lived up to his name so far in more ways than one..."The Lord has remembered".

A little hockey in the street

There was suprise snow yesterday, and we woke up to streets sheets of ice. Pete and Kyla joined the Baslers in the back alley for a little ice hockey in the street and the girls were amazed at the ice...and fell more than once! Then our neighbors Chad and Laura payed us a short visit with their ever-growing bundle of joy, Sydney. Sydney was born very early because of a serious emergency and she is thriving and doing well- just look at how cute she is! (I just want to eat her up!) I had just gone through my doula training before Laura had Sydney and was able to help her some with nursing a preemie, because nursing for Laura was way more challenging than for most moms. It's so wonderful to see both mommy and baby doing so great now! God is so good :-)

ps. I want to learn to knit that adorable, hand-made purple hat she is wearing in the picture. :-) Next project, maybe?

Random thoughts and musings

TODAY

Today is very windy and cold and it feels like winter here in Charlotte. I had a little get-together with some of the students from my childbirth classes and one of my doula clients. Their babies were born in the last several months and I had heard from some of the mothers off and on that they were having a hard time feeling isolated and alone.

So, babies and coffee was born and we met at Dilworth coffee on this windy, autumn day in Charlotte. I don't know if we'll meet at a coffee shop each time (my 2 toddlers were on the wilder side sitting in a coffee shop for 1.5 hours!), but at least everyone got to meet other mommies! It was a good time.

THE PHILIPPINES

I haven't written much on my blog about the Philippines and going to New Life International School of Midwifery next year. Most of the time I think about writing and then I don't. I think I'm in a very "speechless" state right now. Pete and I are just doing a lot of praying and waiting on the Lord. I feel an unusually strong tug on my heart to go. This "tugging" only gets stronger when I go to church and the pastor speaks on Jonah. It gets stronger when I pick up my Bible and read just about any passage. Only stronger when I talk to God about it. It's the same "tug" I felt when Jesus called me to himself and asked me to give my life to Him. I don't know what to do with this very "Holy Spirit" type of tugging. It seems like we just need to obey and go! And then the doubts pop up...one after another..."What if we don't raise all the money?"....."What about vaccines for Avery? She had (mild) allergic reactions to the only 2 shots she's ever had."...."what about her skin?"...."what will life be like as a family in the Philippines?"......"what will our families think?" (...ummmm....let's just say that they aren't exactly thrilled with the idea of us moving across the world...)

AVERY's ECZEMA

Avery is being treated by an acupuncturist with an allergy-elimination technique called NAET. So far, it seems to be working, but only time will tell. Currently, her skin looks almost beautiful. And she is happier and happier every day. And, she's no longer allergic to dairy!!! yippeeeee!!
We just praise God and thank him for each and every day that Avery is happy and not scratching. And yesterday and today were days like that. Slowly and surely we are all getting our sanity back :-)

ME

I love being a doula. I'm excited to one day become a midwife, but there is no other word to describe how much I love helping other moms as a doula right now. Whether it is educating them on childbirth and breastfeeding, encouraging them, supporting them and praying for them. It is a ministry in and of itself. I feel so blessed each time I meet with a new mom-to-be.

I started seeing a chiropractor. I've only been two times and I don't remember the last time my back and neck felt so good. My neck and back have been bothering me a lot since the little ones came along. So, this is a huge blessing. :-)